hmmm guess oni a few of u know wads happenin bahxx



i kinda confused and really V confused guess all i haf to do is wait 4 tml bahx that all i can do guess the final thing is done bahx i rally think so maybe not i not sure but its juz mystery all along colder and colder hands juz come everyday i mean hand juz grow colder each day guess the devil will be out soon guess all i haf to write is this den all let something decides ... are there really so much that i dunno and i really dunno guess i haf to find out all myself bahx
take care peepx all i haf is this.... its its like this i gonna do thing i dun really 1 and dun want to....

im HERE and ALWAYS WAITING
8:08 PM

Wooohooo NDP PREVIEW's OVer!!!!!!!

went to skool 4 drill com practise hmm kinda ok i think? still got hope now
erm juz gonna say the food ytd juz sux luch fish burger den the fish so hard bread so tough wedges so tastelesss had luch of this<<<< den i msg shan bro den 1st msg was shaun den other 2 was her's den kinda happy lor den i was talkin to Ben one of the more close fren in NDP... den iat 3.40 forced to eat ice cream ehich is mocca sux and nonya kaya roll which is dry but still ok la.... den 1hr ltr DINNER!!! ARGH SO FULLL den the KFC sux lor aniway i hate kfc BTW... den shroom burger wifout shroom whipped potato which is tasteless den drumstick which is the oni 1 i finish cox shrooms i bite 1 mouth den wrapped up le den potato i ate a few mouth den also dun want eat le den den changed to Full U den msged bro ,Sls and her to haf fun den we were watchin chior performance and nahua performances den we left SIS(singapore indoor stadium) 4 preview walked to gate 1 den turn walk outside to gate 3 on the way say her i saw her 1st glance den mel(mama thats wad i call her) n syidah wavin to mi den i was like huh? cox i was the oni 1 there that know them and the oni 1 wavin den teng yong call mi den i look at her again.. will i be the last glance hope not den carry on talkin to ben den sit there waiting 4 the P&C to start den ..... all the same stuff till forgin out!!!!! band made a mistake of hittin the double bass to early cox the GOH last contingent haven mached out totally den row B and C dunn wad to do den the 2nd bass den we turn den 2rd we run GG and GB block when earlier loh but its ok overall still quite ok la the parade....den was dismissed V early den i actually wanted to wait 4 JJ jacklyn and sya (duaghter) 1 den still gt like 3 hr doin nth so i went hme reach hme bout 10.30 den i bath play awhile den boom nites....ltr still gt tuition at 3 sian can i nt haf tuition..? but its cox of tuition thats y my math and phy went up ... bye


take care peepx....thx bro and jacklyn 4 the talk on friday....


im HERE and ALWAYS WAITING
9:23 AM

Today juz its not my day i think...

i juz to tired den its like i juz cant concentrate lor .... durin geog test i juz keep gettin distracted by thinkin of the card i mean the content lor... aft test i start writing den i wrote and wrote till i almost break down cox today already very sad cox of thailand trip thing den .. haix dun wan say la....

i placed the card under her story book wonder she saw that?... it juz izzit wad i was meant to be lor camp period was still ok but as days go i start to feel sick and its liek 2nd day aft dinner den i felt extremely sick den i wanted to vomit den suddenly yong yi , jh,jared,jj and shaun ,michelle gather around mi den i really went to vomit and its everything out den i went back to MPH den she saked mi i ok anot den i say i ok but that time really was ok le den nth happen aft that...


i not in mood to update maybe ltr bahx

im HERE and ALWAYS WAITING
5:12 PM

haix regret of missing carnival!!!... argh!!!

if i went 4 carnival my NYAA silver will be gone den if i go ndp i miss the carnival!!! haix no choice mr poh tell mi go ndp but i relunctantly go carnival reach skool at bout 714 i think den enter my klass store frm the back den i saw darlin den i step outside to check out wad jared and the rest are doing ... den i look towards her den she look towards mi she gave the smile she would gif as alweas wif a very happy wave i mean V fast la... den she came towards mi wif shu hui den we talk a little den i went to talk to armytoot den he say tell mi wear be on side wif him thats mean i need to wear cap aniway i outside shelter den wear lor but i tried my best to stay in shelter... den its like time fly so fast bout 7.30 she told mi go arcade room den i went in to check the games there den she call lion-EL to come we were like mad sayin we want to play but cannt lor so no choice i went back to store den darling came to my store wif hannah mei den i suddenly took her hand to check time den sort of held her hand aft so long haha den its like 741 den she haf to go hall 4 robotics den i gave her a relunctant bye... haha juz miss her thats y den i loiter around 4 awhile den Datoot came i said hi den bye V soon cox i haf to GO!!!! wah!!! dun wan leave(HEY! y am i typing this like talkin to myself?) den saw Dao yang headin towards BB store den i told him to wait awhile cox i go hall the bid my darling farewell i looked at her she was quite busy den she suddenly looked at mi den i told her (lips reading) that i leavin den i went off very very slowly as if i going to leave for a very long time den mi and dao yang left i walk very slowly and we were both like complaining that i want go carnival dun want go ndp haix but i gt Bad news 4 jared POC say: those who didnt come ytd 22/7/06 will be reserve 4 the rest of training.... aft ndp which ended at 7+ i went to queenways to look 4 pris,BY, datoot and JJ den i ended up buyin a new shirt juz cox i'm in FULL U but i dun mind cox my uniform stinks and V stuffy den in the end money save in wallet 4 darling's B'dea was gone but i still gt some at home juz in case bt den mi and shaun heart very pain he bought a new long sleve hoody which the 5 of our Bros goin to buy bahx den go ikea but hotdog bun den leave le i spent like bout $50 ytd den shaun bout $45 bahx den nvm go home le kinda late le i miss my darling now hoping that can go out wif her or wif bros cox i dun want stay at home argh!!! nvm enuff le k tml gt adventure camp bye!!!
take care peepx

im HERE and ALWAYS WAITING
11:55 AM

erm... smile startin to show on my face?


i still dunno whether its ok anot?




u seem to be really down these few days and i'm too .... u told mi u were ok and i think so too bah...
cant really haf lots of smiles these few days i mean past cox i dun wan to affect myself animore cox u are V important to mi but it doesnt seem the same animore and i know it wont be back to happy old days so soon cox of problems here and there ...haix but i think that u look better and better le and i dun know if i'm anot cox im still kinda hafin funny feelin thats stoppin to get back to me the stupid appetite juz sux lor i cant eat much le i think ... i cant even finish a plate of rice cox im down there few day? i dun think so bah aft the vomittin clear i wasnt eatin much worried bout u ? bt now its still nt gettin better aiya forget bout it..........

i miss holdin ur hands so much cox its really long time since i get to hold ur hands le misssin the feeling so much but cant be helped haix dotz

u lie towards m shoulder once again aft so long its kinda weird at first den u gt up den aft awhile 1 more time ermzzz missin lot of those days that we used to had Hope that it will juz come back

erm i juz dunno y i had lots and lots of thinkin these days cox i was confused and very depressed so i did thinkin of thingz happenin these few days everything juz not correct 3G juz seem to be crumbling today a quarrel occured cox of of.. dun wanna tok bout it ...
den its like i juz miss her so much that i can go crazy .....

Hope that i can get back those feelingz the happiness that i once felt

still wishin that this hope will get alife like i alweas had

Hope and wish is all i can try to do

dun worry i will bring it back


byez take care...

im HERE and ALWAYS WAITING
7:56 PM

guess its juz normal... thingz are nt alweas perfect......


debating class juz sux... nvm its better den geog lesson....
been thinkin of u almost every moment i been thinkin deeply bout u and thingz that happen haiz...
u walked pass my klass look into my class at bout the front door there if im nt wrong u looked in bout 4 times or 5..... last time u look in was when u left ur klass and im hafin debatin klass... u didnt see mi cox i was blocked by jh...


we didnt tok today at all ... i dunno y i didnt i oni looked at u and smiled mayeb cox i dun want miss JC to see u wif mi bahx but the fact is i dun care bout her ... today wasnt a very good day cox wifout u i juz cant take a bigger step le i told myself i cant eat too much or i will vomit and i figured out that i was alweas to full when i vomitted till ytd nite i finish dinner (not all oni half) and i didnt vomit... ytd u said ur bro's call came so haf to hang and i waited frm bout 9 to 11 and no call i guessed ur dad reached home le bahx i dun mind cox i made mi think of the moments we had together cox i was listenin to moments by westlife lyrics below

i cant live wif u nt by my side.....
MOMENT

If i die tonight,
I'd go with no regrets,
If it's in your arms,
I know that i was blessed,
And if your eyes,
are the last thing that i see,
Then i know the beauty heaven holds for me,

But if i make it through,
If i live to see the day,
If i'm with you,
I'll know just what to say,
the truth be told,
Girl, you take my breath away,
every minute, every hour, every day,

Cause every moment,
we share together,
is even better,
than the moment before,
If every day was,
as good as today was,
then i can't wait until tomorrow comes,

A moment in time,
is all that's given you and me,
A moment in time,
and it's something you should seize,
So i won't make,(i won't make)
the mistake of letting go,
Everyday you're here,
i'm gonna let you know,

That every moment,
we share together,
is even better,
than the moment before,
If every day was,
as good as today was,
then i can't wait until tomorrow comes,

Each morning that i get up,
(each morning i'll wait),
I love you more than ever,
(i love you more)
So girl i'll never,
go away, never stray,

So every moment,
we share together,
is even better,
than the moment before,
If every day was,
as good as today was,
then i can't wait until tomorrow comes,

Every moment,
we share together,
is even better,
than the moment before,
If every day was,
as good as today was,
then i can't wait until tomorrow comes,

I love, love, love the moments,
(oh yeah)
Moments we share together,
I love, love, love the moments,
(oh yeah)
I pray they'd last forever,

I love, love, love the moments,
(oh yeah)
Moments we share together,
I love, love, love the moments,
(oh yeah)
I pray they'd last forever now..........

im HERE and ALWAYS WAITING
5:56 PM

today... nt really V good lor juz dunno y .. im kinda confused of feeling



erm but its nt ur fault due to cant send u hme la dun worry i juz tired...
today i didnt really tok to lot of ppl oni most of the time my daughter syah... haha
erm also nth to tok oni tok bout how to do chem... durin chinese lesson didnt really tok to her till end of lesson cox she doing classwork so am i ... i kinda nt feelin well i found out 1 thing i cant really drink apple tea cox i usually vomit aft drinkin it.... i feel V weird when nvr tok to u... u told mi u goin home so i watch frm com lab there see u walkin out of skool gate den wait 4 jh adn the rest to be done n leave i tried to catch up but saw bus left den tot u left le but meet u near dnt there ... den walk wif u the rest den u tell mi to pei jh den i say dun wan den u say again den i turn away den u V angry lor.. nvm thats all la V kinda sad i think confused of feeling

im HERE and ALWAYS WAITING
5:30 PM

Life's so much better when u r so close to mi again hahas


ermzzz i dunno how to explain lor cox i juz too happy lor... happy that shuan and haan patched le mi and darling juz gettin closer haha (as if i am alweas so far frm her?) haha i juz love her too much today 3H and I gt the debating class and i haf in on thursday.... hiax dun wan make her wait but can help maybe try to go toilet lots of time lor haha i juz miss her every min lor ermzzz guess thats all i leavin quite a gd life 4 the time bein hope it will be as long as i want haha byes take care...=0

im HERE and ALWAYS WAITING
8:52 PM

A BIG HOLE IN THE HEART

YTD had ndp.... it was damn tiring .. but frankly speaking i dun think im in a good mood now..... the hole in my heart gt bigger im V confused of wadz happenin...

aft i msg u while u were hafin tuition bout 1130+ i msg u once den all the way till likw 745 i think i straight away msg u on bus still hoping to get a reply frm u...no reply .. waited but i dun mind....den nxt msg frm bout 815 to 9 i msg again u didnt reply u knew something was wrong and its was very wrong... wait at KFC 4 my dinner frm 915 all the way to 10 pm i tried callin ur hp to see if u gt on hp anot den u didnt i guess either u were asleep? or no batt? aft dinner which i dint really eat... den went home reach home bout 11.15 ... im worried that u might msg mi so i bathed waited all the way till 1230 and so i went to slp in a down state.....

every waiting made the hole biggger but most of the time it recovered due to ur reply.... till now frm 1230 tilll now i cant really slp but i did sleep 4 like a few hr den wake up den slp and wake again ... i dun mind and is still waiting ..

ermz... i'll haf to juz wait but nt too long.............


im HERE and ALWAYS WAITING
7:21 AM

EMPTINESS Of the HEART
heyzzz feeling great.. ithink

maybe its a feelin of emptiness bahx i nt used to be at home le except at nitezz cox that wad my mum alweas tell mi takin ur hse as a hotel go out come home at nite eat and slp den go out nxt mornin!!!

ermz quite true but im juz like that....

emptiness maybe cox im not outside wif frenz?

maybe its juz that i miss her...... haiz ytd slpt throughout frm 8pm to like 9 am today? cox she said she do finish tuition hw den msg mi den end up i fell asleep den Da Sao called mi ask mi tml free anot cox she gt 2 SYF ticket den she say her frens (2 if im nt wrong) ask mi go but wif hu???

today she woke up quite late cox she watched DVD i think till scared den she went to slp

she told mi that her stomach pain 4 whole day today she told mi dun worry but i will worry 4 sure ..... its human nature .... but all i can do is worry and nth else?? haiz all alone at home ..... nth to do...... blog but still nt happy cox i cant see her i cant ............. nvm listenin to loads of songs nths help except her or maybe bro- shaun barx

i nt in troble but V empty thats all nt stomach empty heart kinda empty somethingz missing?? maybe and thats u.. yes u... my galgal....darling


Oh ya !!! wanna thank my neice, Jessie shes of great help too erm i mean she's good at analaysis she know wad i feel bout my darling ... Neice!!! Uncle thank u erm quotin frm ur daddy fav. phrase" my baby is cute... " erm now i haf to say something "my neice and daughter both are cute hehe but darling u'r the best"

EMPTINESS OF the HEART

im HERE and ALWAYS WAITING
6:53 PM